How to Stop Feeling Self Conscious
from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Why do you feel self conscious? Is it the way you look or the way you think you look? Who is judging you and why do you care about their opinions?
Steps
- Identify what you're terribly conscious about. A certain aspect of your appearance? The twitch in your eye? Your accent? Your Disability? Your intellectual abilities? Make a list of these things and next to each item, write something you can do to improve it.
- Figure out who you're trying to please and why. What kind of expectations are making you so self conscious? Is everyone around you picture perfect, or are you comparing yourself to airbrushed models in magazines? Have you convinced yourself that no one else has twitches, or flaws, or trips? Stop for a second and turn that self-criticism outwards. No one is perfect, and you've never noticed their little quirks before, so why would they pay so much attention to yours? Just feel like there's no need to worry and always picture yourself like you know you look and feel good in front of others, but don't think about it too much because it will already be embedded.
- Redirect your attention. When you start to feel self conscious, locate a target - it doesn't matter what it is, it may be the bug crawling across the floor - and concentrate on it. What color is it? How many legs? Anything that turns the attention away from yourself will do the trick.
- Make fun of yourself. Yep, that's right--not in a self-depreciating sort of way, but in a humble and witty way to acknowledge that you're not perfect and you don't care. After you drop a jar of peanut butter in front of someone you fancy and watch in horror as it shatters into pieces and splatters peanut butter chunks on the floor, burst out laughing at your inherent clumsiness, cracking a joke that you should be required to wear double-sided tape on your hands--and then apologize and help clean it up!
- Build your self confidence. Make an effort to gain a deeper understanding of your self-worth. Replace your worries about what other people think about you with a preoccupation over your own goals, achievements, and progress.
- Work on changing the inner you. You have to believe that you are special and that no one is better or more important than you.
- Just let it be. Don't care about it too much, if you feel self-conscious. It will be OK.
Tips
- Take a deep breath. Break that focus you're locked into where all you can imagine is yourself.
- Change your self talk from negative to positive. Say "I am a very confident person". Repeat this as often as you can, any time of the day. Find other affirmations that will help boost the way you feel about yourself.
- Look in the mirror each day and say "I love you" out loud to yourself.
- As you read this, don't tell yourself it's stupid. Just don't think someone is better than you. You have so much to contribute, and whether you do or not marks what kind of a person you are.
- Being fake is ugly. Just don't do it.
- When someone criticizes you, take it and don't be mean back. That's what they want.
- Remember, "Always be the first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of someone else," Judy Garland.
- Don't worry about what people think- they're not interested in you as much as you'd think because they are probably worrying about themselves more.
Warnings
- Sometimes people may try to bully you if they sense you are vulnerable - they are bullies - walk away, and never waste time trying to impress them.
- Have faith in your own ability, and when you meet someone, ask lots of questions about them.
- Don't always be on the defensive. Be willing to admit when you have done something wrong because it really isn't the end of the world. Everyone makes mistakes. Go ahead and apologize. Then MOVE ON.
- Stop looking for the approval of others. Its a trap and a snare.
Related wikiHows
- How to Build Self Confidence
- How to Be Yourself
- How to Accept Being Shy
- How to Avoid Blushing at Inappropriate Times
Sources and Citations
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